


Things We Lost In the Fire

by KingDot



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Betrayal, Gen, I'll give them back I swear, I'm just going to steal them for a moment, Izumi and the Traitors, Izumi breaks character, Izumi builds character, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Muffinlance has some really excellent characters, Sounds like the best band name ever tbh, Towards the Sun, Treason, Zuko can get anything he wants by just saying please, eventually, just don't tell him that, the "keep our favorite prince alive" conspiracy is getting out of hand
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:35:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24101434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingDot/pseuds/KingDot
Summary: Captain Izumi (of MuffinLance fame) isn't quite as loyal to the crown as you might think. She is, however, very protective of the Prince, and is willing to give her life to make sure he survives to take the throne.The Conspiracy to Keep Zuko Alive is getting a little out of hand(Alternate title: Loyalty, For What It's Worth)
Relationships: Izumi & Captain Jee (MuffinVerse), Izumi & Ursa (Avatar), Izumi & Zuko (Avatar), Izumi & the Traitors, Zuko/Responsible Adult Role Models
Comments: 71
Kudos: 381





	1. Run Boy Run

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MuffinLance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MuffinLance/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Towards the Sun](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19252807) by [MuffinLance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MuffinLance/pseuds/MuffinLance). 



> I have fallen into a very deep well of angst and tears while waiting for more MuffinLance updates. I reread Towards the Sun for the thousandth time, and I had an intense need to know what Captain Izumi felt about each Fire Lord under her tender loving care.  
> I have decided that Ozai was her least favorite.
> 
> I hope you like it! Everything will make better sense by the end of next chapter, I promise!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "These were going to be her last minutes in this world. She was going to make them count."  
> On the Day of Black Sun, Captain Izumi, head of the Royal Guard, makes a mistake that will haunt her forever. She has been planning this day for years, but she failed to anticipate just how impossible it is to get Prince Zuko to stick with a plan, especially if he doesn't even know what it is.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song for this chapter is Run Boy Run by Woodkid

Captain Izumi had been planning for the Day of Black Sun for a little over three years. As the Captain of the Royal Guard, it was her duty to handle preparations for the Fire Lord’s movements on that day. Through her duty to him, she would protect the whole of the Fire Nation. 

When Prince Zuko had returned from his banishment, her plans took on a certain fervor. For the first time in years, she was protecting more than just the Fire Lord, but his heir, and her future. Princess Azula had always preferred to manage her own guard, and Izumi would not argue.

Azula was more than capable of defending herself. Any guard Izumi could assign to her would be an insult. 

The Fire Lord’s spies (and Azula, she must not forget) had informed them of the rumored invasion only a few months ago. The ghosts of the Southern Water Tribe didn’t just stop sinking Royal Navy ships without explanation. She quietly and efficiently wove that knowledge into her preparations. 

She ordered a separate bunker prepared for each member of the royal family. Princess Azula would doubtless do what she wanted regardless of Izumi’s input, so she set a bunker for her close to the surface so she wouldn’t go tearing through three years of preparation on her way out to do something that would doubtless please her father. Fire Lord Ozai always delighted in whatever cruelties Azula could dream up. She was his favorite, after all. 

She had personally shown Zuko to the chamber they had prepared for him that morning. He had given it a very cursory glance and just nodded his approval. He did not ask any questions. He did not evaluate escape routes. This should have been Izumi’s first warning. 

She gave him two guards, her most observant and loyal: Tenya, who had served under her for ten years, was the only member of her guard who knew the entire plan she had for the day; Maemi was newer, but she had been at Zuko’s Agni Kai. Izumi had seen the change in her that day more clearly than anyone else. 

She trusted them with the life of her Prince, the only member of the family she felt truly deserved her protection. This was chief among her mistakes for the day. She should have given him more than two guards. 

Because Prince Zuko was missing. 

Izumi had planned for every eventuality. She had planned for the invasion force to reach them, she had planned for the invasion to fail. She had planned her own death, and the deaths of half a dozen other members of the Royal Guard, all volunteers. 

She had _not_ planned for the _Crown Prince_ to go _missing._

She stood at the end of an excessively long line of guards in front of the Fire Lord, watching the door with such intensity that she wasn’t sure if she had blinked in at least a minute. She’d sent Maimi and Tenya to try to find the Prince, and if they didn’t return sometime in the next hour, she might lose her mind. 

As if in response to her thoughts (and the single bead of sweat making its slow and agonizing journey down the center of her spine) the side door closest to her creaked open ever so slightly. She did not jump. She did not run to guardsman Danjuro to hear what he had to say. She couldn’t appear anxious or guilty or melancholy or any of the cacophony of emotions she was feeling. 

She walked purposefully over to where Danjuro stood, and pitched her voice low so her Lord could not hear her words. 

“Any word on the Prince?”

“None, Captain.” He sounded out of breath. “No one has seen him. He just vanished.”

Izumi did not curse, but she did allow herself a frustrated sigh. Privately, she offered a prayer to Agni that the boy was alright, and that he wasn’t doing anything stupid. 

The Captain lowered her voice even further. “Are the charges set yet?”

Danjuro shook his head. “Almost. Sho is checking for additional support structures, now.”

She nodded. They wanted this to be thorough. “Send in the next shift as soon as they’re done, but wait until the sun is full dark. And give me at least a minute’s warning. I’ll give the signal.”

He nodded. “Yes, Captain.” She did not hear the grief in his voice. He tried so hard to cover it, she wouldn’t disrespect that effort. She did not acknowledge the terror in his eyes. It would do him no good. 

“Have you heard any news from the surface? Has the fighting started?”

“They haven’t landed yet, but they’ve reached the Gates. Their boats waited a few moments after the nets went up and then just turned around. We suspect a trick. We’re not sure when they’re planning to make landfall, but it’ll be before the sun darkens. We think they’re planning to be at the palace when it starts.”

She nodded. “Let’s pray they’re smarter than that. Keep me posted. Dismissed.”

Danjuro swallowed whatever reply she knew he wanted to make, bowed, and left. She slowly returned to her place in line. 

A moment passed. Two. Izumi could hear Fire Lord Ozai sip his tea behind her in the absolute silence of the room. 

When he spoke, it was all she could do to repress the shiver that passed down her spine. 

“What news, Captain?” His voice always raised the hair on the back of her neck. She felt like he could read her thoughts. It was only paranoia, she knew. If he really did know how she planned for today to end, he would have executed her three years ago. 

She pivoted on her heel to face him, and bowed. She spoke facing the ground, showing proper military deferment. “The invasion force has not yet reached our shores. It’s believed that they circumvented the Gates of Azulon and that they plan to land with enough time to reach the palace just as the sun darkens.”

“Hmm.” His expression did not change. He raised his cup again and sipped his tea, his eyes never moving from the top of her head. She was never more glad for her helmet, no matter how much she privately complained about the restricted vision. The Fire Lord set his cup down beside him with a precise _click_. “Was that all?”

He could not read her thoughts. He did not know. He _could not read her thoughts_. 

“Princess Azula has refused a guard presence,” she supplied. If all went well, any lies she could make wouldn’t matter in an hour. But, for the sake of her fellow guards, she had to also plan for everything to fall apart. If by some terrible accident they all survived this, she wanted as much plausible deniability as possible. “She has chosen her own defense strategy. She was… quite secretive about it.”

He _hmm_ ’d again. Izumi schooled herself into confident, casual, military stillness. “As you were, then, Captain.”

Captain Izumi did not sigh in relief. She simply rose from her bow, pivoted on her heel once more, and returned to attention. One more hour, and the eclipse would begin. One more hour, and she would give the order, and they would collapse this section of the bunker. She wouldn't feel like a traitor anymore. She wouldn't feel like anything. Three years of planning and debate would finally be triggered into motion. One more hour, and she would be buried with all of her secrets and her fears and all the crimes of her past.

This was about to be the longest hour of her life.

* * *

Maemi had _really_ good breath control. That was the part of her training as a kid that she had liked the most, because it kept her hands from fidgeting with things and it kept her mind going in one direction instead of twenty and it kept her focused but not _too_ focused and— 

Maemi had really good breath control and that was the only reason she wasn’t hyperventilating right now. 

She had lost the prince. She had _lost_ the _prince._

She pushed open the trapdoor above her into the palace. Tenya was double-checking the tunnels, she would begin to search the city above. But Caldera was _huge_ and she had no idea how long she had before the eclipse started but it had to be soon and she was _never going to find him and--_

 _Breathe. Do it_ _again. You're a member of the Royal Guard for fuck's sake._

She forced herself to stop flicking little sparks from her left hand. It was a nervous habit she'd picked up after she burned herself when she was nine that she had never really gotten rid of. Even now she could hear her father telling her that she was going to set the house on fire. 

_Focus, Maemi. Do your job._ Her father would have told her that, too.

How did the Prince even get past her? He had asked if they could give him some privacy, that he hadn’t slept particularly well the night before and that he was going to try to use this little bit of downtime to catch up on some sleep. Like the absolute idiot she was, she’d believed him. But there weren’t any other doors in the room. She would have _seen_ him if he had tried to walk past them. 

Tenya thought he’d slipped through the vents, but Maemi thought he was crazy. The only place those vents let out was the side of the mountain, and she couldn’t imagine what he _wanted_ out there. While she was still reeling for explanations, though, he had sent her up here. So here she was. 

She’d come up in one of the servant’s hallways, near the throne room. This hall was almost always bustling with activity, servants and clerks and other guards all with somewhere to be and someone to serve. Now it was empty. Her footsteps echoed down the hall in a way they hadn’t before. She tried to soften her step to make less noise, the way Sho taught her, but it didn’t disguise her as the only human presence in sight.

She would check the bedrooms first. It was the only place she could think to look. They would be empty, she knew, but what else was she supposed to do?

Maemi followed a familiar path to Prince Zuko’s bedroom. She’d been assigned to his personal guard the moment he had returned, at her own request. Her brother Kazu had made fun of her for getting _protective_ , but he didn’t know. 

There were very few members of the guard left who had been there at the Agni Kai, and she’d never told her family what had really happened. The official story was that the poor boy had hurt himself in a training accident. A _training accident_ . Sure, he wasn’t the best firebender she’d ever met but that was the most disgusting cover up she had ever heard. He was _thirteen_. 

The Prince’s room was empty. As was the Princess’s chambers and the Fire Lord’s suite. She hadn’t expected to find anything, but it was still frustrating. 

She started to walk back toward the throne room. Maybe she could get up to the roof somehow and get a good view of the city. Caldera was empty, evacuated. Any movement would be easy to pinpoint from there. 

As Maemi approached the throne room, she heard movement. A rush of air, a click, the planting of feet on hardwood. She bent her knees to absorb more of the sound of her footsteps, and crept more slowly along the hall. She peered out from the shadowed hall. 

In the center of the throne room, just landing in some stance she did not recognize, was a boy she never thought she would see. 

The Avatar was supposed to be _dead_. 

In the first second, Maemi learned two things. 

First: either the Avatar was more immortal than she thought, he was an excellent actor to fool everyone into thinking he was dead, or the prince and princess had been lying since their return. Was this why Prince Zuko was missing? Did he have some kind of plan? Could he not have shared?

Second: the Avatar was _very_ young. Too young. Younger than Zuko had been when— 

Why? Why was this war so hell-bent on destroying the children first? Why was it still happening? Why did everyone treat it like a sentient entity that couldn’t just _end?_

And wasn’t the Avatar supposed to be a hundred years old? Had he truly died enough times to loop right back around to air? Had he been born for the Fire Nation, just to starve to death in some poor colony? Were there even still Air Nomads hiding somewhere to birth the world’s greatest hope? She hoped so, for his sake. 

She watched his shoulders droop when he thought he was staring at an empty room. She could see the tension of preparation, of a plan gone so sideways that he couldn’t even see which way was up and how to backtrack and start again from more stable ground. She understood the feeling. 

And then when he spoke, she could feel all the desperation and anger she had tucked away into her own heart. 

_“Fire Lord Ozai!”_ he screamed, and she felt it in her bones. _“Where are you?!”_

Maemi sank back into the shadows. Prince Zuko would have to handle himself. He had managed for three years, he could manage for a little longer. She had to inform the Captain.

* * *

Captain Izumi was staring at the door again. Even this far beneath the city, she could feel the sun fading. She was getting cold, her inner fire hiding itself away. The feeling of it made her skin crawl the same way it did whenever Ozai spoke. She felt powerless. 

She breathed in. These were to be her last minutes in this world, and she was going to make them count. 

She breathed out. The guard shift had already changed. Around her were those who were loyal to her, loyal to the Fire Nation, and traitors to the bone. 

She breathed in. She focused her mind on a memory. It was one she saw often, in her nightmares. She saw a boy, too young and full of courage, shouting out of turn in a darkened war room. She saw him standing, prayer shawl drifting from his shoulders, chin high and full of defiance. 

She breathed out. She saw the Prince on his knees, pleading with his father. She heard him scream. She saw a boy being escorted onto some ship that was only barely seaworthy, crewed by near-deserters and disgraced soldiers too rowdy to discharge. 

She opened her eyes to the sound of the metal door sliding open. She didn’t remember closing them. 

And just like that, her serene acceptance of death and dishonor was shattered. Her heart constricted in her chest. She couldn’t breathe. 

There, on the threshold of the most deadly chamber in Caldera, stood Prince Zuko.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work was supposed to stay Izumi POV, but then that first scene break happened and, well. Maemi really wanted to be a full character and far be it from my gay ass to stop her. She's too cute and full of fury.  
> No, I'm not going to be naming all the chapters after songs from my favorite Zuko playlist, why would you ask that... 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3efvuxFebVH7WN5XwH1VkI?si=vRiExqj6TLOGEfL8JqLwSA  
> ^a link to the playlist I'm definitely not using for my titles. nope. not at all.^
> 
> (PS I understand that this is a little outside of Izumi's character in TTS. It will make sense, I promise. There is a reason.)


	2. Honour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She couldn't imagine the wrath of Ursa's child.  
> Worse, she couldn't imagine his forgiveness"  
> Captain Izumi makes several miscalculations. These are things she will regret later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you look at that, something went horribly wrong.
> 
> (Title song is Honour by Hayden Calnin)

“Prince Zuko, what are you doing here?”

Ozai’s voice was like a knife edge under silk, fraying it when he moved. Izumi could hear the admonishment in it. Astonishment. Annoyance. 

He didn’t look like a prince, right then. He wore travel clothes, not what he had been wearing that morning. He had his swords slung over his shoulder. She didn’t even know he still used them. She had remembered Ozai taking them away more than once, telling him how shameful it was for a firebender to use any weapon save for what Agni granted them. 

She remembered “accidentally” showing him a good place to hide them when he was eight. She had snuck her lunch into a little hidden alcove in a lightly used servant’s hallway not too far from his rooms. She had waited to retrieve it until he ran for his room one day, running from his terror of a little sister. It was cute, then, how he had snuck around in the shadows, copying an actor from a play he’d seen—the palace’s own little ghost. 

Now, Izumi watched him step forward, shoulders set. She saw the purpose in his eyes, in his slow, deliberate movements. She saw the same look she had seen in her own eyes this morning. She saw rebellion. She saw resignation. She saw treason. 

She could barely breathe. This was wrong, this was so wrong, she should have anticipated this. She should have _known_ , of course he would be planning something. You don’t just let a man burn you and banish you and disgrace you, only to forgive him the second he remembers you exist. But couldn’t he have shared this plan with her? 

(Couldn’t _she_ have shared? She had been planning to play kingmaker, after all. She was going to put this boy on the throne without consulting him, use him as a pawn as his father had.)

(But she couldn’t have told him, could she? She never would have gotten this far. He wouldn’t have let her go through with what needed to be done, he had too much of his mother’s kindness in him. She was already a traitor, but she couldn’t imagine what he would say if he knew. She couldn’t bear to disappoint the last piece she had left of her old friend. She couldn’t imagine the wrath of Ursa’s child.)

(Worse, she couldn’t imagine his forgiveness.)

“Why are you here?” There was suspicion in his tone now. He saw the look in Zuko’s eyes, too. From the sound of it, he hadn’t anticipated this either. 

“I’m here to tell the truth.”

No. _No._

The side door cracked open again. Danjuro’s eyes widened. The faceplate of his helmet was off, a small part of her noticed. She knew he hated enclosed spaces, that even being in the tunnels for this long was torture for him, but he still should be in full uniform.

“Telling the truth in the middle of an eclipse,” Ozai mused from behind her. This was all so wrong. “This should be interesting.”

She couldn’t help herself. She turned to look at him. She didn’t see a man anymore. She had watched this Fire Lord grow into what he was under the cruelty of his own father, a bloodthirsty perfectionist. He dismissed them with a wave. 

Decades of service compelled her to turn on her heel and march toward the side door where Danjuro stood, trying his best not to tremble. He was as composed as could be expected, but the glint of sweat on his brow gave him away. She waited for the rest of the guard to exit, and closed the door. 

She left only the barest crack of space between the door and the wall to watch the proceedings. She couldn’t bring herself to look away.

“Captain, what’s the plan?” Danjuro wasn’t even trying to hide his fear, now. She knew what he was feeling: to be ready and willing to die for a cause, only to have the whole world turn sideways. It wasn’t even a proper release of tension, just a kind of slow dissipation that left her limbs even colder than they were before. 

She turned away from the door so they wouldn’t be heard. “You and Sho man the explosives. Everyone else, stay with me. Let the Prince say his piece, but if it looks like he might require assistance, I’ll give the signal.” This had been the plan if the invasion reached them. If Ozai's death could be someone else's fault, all the better. However, that plan had included orders to just collapse the chamber if it looked like the invasion forces we're to fail. Horrible accident, some earth bender used the wrong support structure as ammunition, very tragic… 

Izumi would have to adjust. She turned back to the room just as she heard shouting.

_"Get out! Get out of my sight if you know what's good for you."_

Ozai was on his feet. He was livid. If she hadn't spent every day of his rule watching him twist into the power hungry monster that he was, she wouldn't have been able to see the fear in his eyes, hear it in his voice. It always disguised itself quite cleverly as cold fury. But for the first time in a very long time, he was powerless.

 _Good,_ Izumi thought. _Let him know what it feels like to lose._

“That’s another thing,” Zuko said, calmer than he had ever been. “I’m not taking orders from you anymore.”

 _Oh, Agni._ She knew his exile had changed him, but she hadn’t realized exactly how much. He’d seemed more mature, more stable, but more lost than he had ever been. 

(Why did he have to pick _today_ to grow a backbone?)

_“You will obey me,” Ozai growled, “or this defiant breath will be your last.” He stepped down from the dias toward his son._

_Zuko drew his swords with a flourish. He finally had some power over his father. Izumi held her breath, waiting to see how he would use it._

“Captain,” Danjuro interrupted again. “There’s something else.”

_"No. I am going to speak my mind, and you are going to listen."_

"Yes?" She hissed. _Something else_ was not what she needed right now. 

“The Avatar. He’s alive, he’s here.” Danjuro sucked in a breath. “Maemi was just here, she said she saw him.”

“What.” Izumi did not have enough space left in her brain to process _that_.

Danjuro fidgeted. “She said he showed up at the palace, before the eclipse even started. She thinks he might have found the tunnels by now, there was an opening in the side of the mountain.”

Izumi’s brow _twitched_ without her permission. “And where is she now?” She growled.

“She, um…” The look in his eyes told her everything she needed to know, but she was going to make him finish his sentence anyway. “She left. She said she was going to go try to track him, that maybe she could try to point him in the right direction.”

Izumi did not curse. She really wanted to. 

Danjuro shifted his weight back and forth. “She said you would appreciate the initiative…”

Captain Izumi was well-acquainted with Maemi’s _initiative._ Not two weeks after the Prince’s banishment, she’d caught her in the planning phase of what would have been one of the most poorly executed coup in history. If it hadn’t been for Maemi’s excellent observational skills and the fact that Izumi was planning the _exact same thing_ , she might have turned the girl in for it. 

But Izumi needed allies, and Maemi needed a purpose to keep her out of trouble. She had all that idealistic fury that Izumi wished she could still justify. 

(She’d been placed with the Prince because she deserved better than to be buried with a monster.)

Izumi glanced back through the crack in the door. Zuko was still talking. That was a good sign. But he didn’t sound angry or righteous. He sounded… like he just wanted to talk. Like for the first time in his life, he would be heard. 

That hurt Izumi’s heart more than any real argument could have. 

“... How could you possibly justify a duel with a child?” 

(Did he know that those exact words had passed her own lips? Did he know how many of her band of would-be traitors had reached their breaking point upon hearing them? Did he know that she would have spared him the need to say them if she could?)

(Would he want her to?)

“It was to teach you respect.”

(Did Ozai know that he was about to die for _those_ words? Would he have changed them if he did?)

“It was cruel! And it was wrong.” 

(She could feel years of pain in his voice. Not just the pain of exile, but of an abandonment that began so many years before.)

“Then you’ve learned nothing.”

“I’ve learned everything. And I’ve had to learn it on my own. 

(Agni, he sounded so young. So young and so much like his mother.)

“Captain…” Sho interrupted. She turned away from the scene to glare in his direction. He had his helmet under his arm, his long hair plastered to the sides of his face with sweat. She didn’t think it was a result of heat or exertion. 

“What. Is. It.” She ground the words out. Composure had quickly been replaced with stress and terror. She wasn’t going to get it back any time soon. 

“If he plans to run… who gets the crown?”

She knew what he meant. At first, they had all been fine with the idea of Azula on the throne. She was young, she would have a regent. Perhaps they would release her Uncle, let him train some good sense into her. But over time she had become more and more desperate for Ozai’s attention without a big brother to torment. She got more vicious, more cruel. When Zuko returned… their purpose had shifted. This wasn’t about revenge anymore, it was about putting the crown on the right head, about being able to defend a Fire Lord worth defending. 

If he ran and Ozai died, Azula would get the crown. There would be too many questions, too much uncertainty. It would be a civil war. Whatever she felt about Princess Azula, she still didn’t deserve to lose both of the remaining members of her family who were willing to even acknowledge her as something other than a threat. 

If Prince Zuko ran, they would never be able to catch him in time to explain. Azula would be put in charge of a nation that did not trust her, with no loyal guard to protect her. 

Everyone with that kind of loyalty was here, preparing to die to put her there. 

Izumi let her shoulders droop. “I don’t know,” she admitted quietly. “I… we need to re-adjust.”

(Did they really? Or was she losing her resolve? She had been ready to die this morning, to giver her life for the good of her nation, but now? She didn’t know.)

(Where was Tenya when she needed him? He would have known what to say.)

“Start cleaning up the charges. We need to regroup.” They may still be able to overwhelm the Fire Lord. If they had an opening, they would rush him, hopefully before Zuko made his exit. 

If they were lucky, he’d kill his father for them anyway. 

If they had ever been lucky, he never would have needed to.

* * *

Across the city, Iroh breathed. He could feel the sun through the barred window to his cell, swelling with the afternoon. It was almost time. 

He had finished his last meal as a caged man. By the time the sun set today, he would be free again. 

He only wished Zuko would be with him. He had wanted so badly to talk some sense into his nephew. But if he kept forcing Zuko along one path, he would always strain for another. He had been told what to do his entire life. If he was going to find his way, if he was going to become the man Iroh knew he could be, he would have to choose it for himself. 

Iroh breathed, and the bars in front of him warmed again, softening, ruining the temper. By the time his inner flame would hide itself away, the metal would be pliable enough that he could bend it out of his way. 

By tonight, he would be free. 

* * *

“After I leave here today, I’m going to free Iroh from his prison, and beg for his forgiveness. He’s the one who’s been a real father to me.”

Izumi wasn’t listening, now. She could hear them talking still, but she was removing a small barrel of blasting jelly from a nearby section of wall. So long as they were still talking, he was fine. She hoped. 

She heard Ozai’s laugh—which was somehow worse than his voice, worse than his shouting tyrades or his subtle manipulations—and had to still her hands before she blew herself up. 

At least then she wouldn’t have to worry about any of this anymore. 

Sho set down another small barrel in the cart they had brought. They would find a better use for it. They weren’t giving up they were just—

(She was afraid. She hadn’t known how badly she wanted to see him on the throne, how badly she had wanted to see the Fire Nation become _better_ how badly she had wanted to know what it was like to defend a Fire Lord who deserved it and she would never know any of these things if she died in the process.)

(It was unfair of her to ask others to give their lives if she wasn’t sure about it herself.)

“Captain…”

She glanced into the room. Zuko was sheathing his swords. _Why was he sheathing his swords, why was he walking away, this was the perfect opportunity—_

“Coward! You think you’re brave enough to face me but you’ll only do it during the eclipse.”

Zuko kept walking. Izumi didn’t know if she was proud or terrified. 

“If you have any _real_ courage, you’ll stick around until the sun comes out.”

He was trying to bait him and she knew it. More importantly, _Zuko_ seemed to know it. 

“Don’t you want to know what happened to your mother?”

And just like that Captain Izumi couldn’t breathe. From the look of it, neither could Prince Zuko.

* * *

Lightning flashed through the windows of the palace in Izumi’s memory. She was standing very still, trying her best not to hear anything at all from the chamber behind her. She and Tenya both had made a choice, and she already knew it would haunt her for the rest of her days. 

It was the kind of choice with no good outcome, no way to remain blameless. 

The Guard wasn’t allowed opinions, under Azulon’s rule. They were ornamental and best, cannon fodder at worst. 

Ursa had asked her a question, the kind of question she would regret in some way, no matter how she answered. 

“Are you loyal to the crown? Or are you loyal to your country?”

Izumi stood very still. She did nothing, even as she heard Azulon’s muffled cries, slowly dying off into nothing. Tenya shuffled his feet. 

Izumi had never expected her first act of treason to be simply standing aside.

* * *

Then, the whole world tipped on its side. The cold that had settled into Izumi’s bones burned away. The turmoil of emotion that had been building since the eclipse began ignited into flame as the sun returned above them. Everything happened at once.

Ozai spun his arms, summoning the cold fire directly from her nightmares. 

Izumi lunged forward. She wouldn’t get there in time, she should have moved sooner, should have paid more attention _should have blown the whole palace to the sky three years ago—_

Sho grabbed her by the waist, slapped a hand over her mouth before she could cry out. She would _flay him_ for the impropriety later. 

Zuko had the lightning in his own hands, was directing it _into_ himself and _through_ himself and as _throwing it back at Ozai_

The impromptu throne room erupted in sound and flame. Ozai’s back slammed against the wall. 

(Did Zuko miss? Or did he aim away from him on purpose?)

And then Zuko was running. He was out the open door and down a hall and gone. Izumi ripped Sho’s hand off her mouth and whirled on him. 

“Follow the Prince. And _catch him._ I’m not accepting any excuses.”

“But—” the look in her eyes must have destroyed whatever he was about to say. “Yes, Captain.” 

Traitors or not, she was still in charge. 

_“Guards,”_ Ozai growled from the other side of the door. Izumi had the uncomfortable realization that she hadn’t heard him call the first time. 

She turned, shoved her helmet back on her head, and opened the door. She prayed to Agni that he couldn’t see into the room behind her. 

She took a step in and closed the door just to be sure. 

“Your Majesty,” She said, professional as ever. She did not tremble, her voice did not shake. 

“Inform the prison that my brother is about to have a visitor. See to it that they have a room ready for him.”

Izumi’s skin crawled. “Yes, Your Majesty.” 

Despite her fire raging almost out of control, there was still an icy weight in the pit of her stomach. 

She should have followed Ursa's example and smothered him in sleep years ago. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The school year is over for me, and I've been trying to get into the habit of writing something every day, even if it's just a few hundred words of a fanfic. With no more script assignments to work on, it's going to be all fanfic for a while.  
> your comments on the last chapter were all so kind, I can't tell you how much I enjoy reading them. Why can't anyone be this nice about my professional screenplays?  
> (Didn't add anything new to the "zombie genre" my ASS. You didn't add anything new to the Divorce Genre, but here we are, Brad.)


	3. Turns You Into Stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko's not as composed as he probably should be.  
> That may have something to do with the fact that his heart is doing funny things in his chest.  
> This may affect his decision-making skills

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now is as good a time as any to remind everyone that this work is going to (somehow)(mostly) be cannon complaint with MuffinLance's Towards the Sun (link in first chapter) so, yeah.  
> things are gonna get Interesting.  
> (Title song is Turns You Into Stone by Fleurie (Or, the best Izumi song I've ever heard))

Maemi was looking for the Avatar again, but she’d gotten… side tracked. Well, one could say she was _back_ on track because she had found Prince Zuko and that was _supposed_ to be what she was doing but… well. At least she’d found the Prince. 

She watched from a shadowed alcove high in the tunnel wall, well above eye level. Nobody ever looked _up_ when they were looking for threats, and she had a habit of using that to her advantage. Well, she _had_ a habit. She was a royal guard, now, not just some nameless scout in the royal army. 

She’d gotten up there when she heard footsteps in the tunnels but couldn’t pinpoint where they were coming from or whose they were. Sure, she was a royal guard now and could go where she pleased, but. 

Some habits were just too hard to break. 

She watched as the Prince slowed from his run and leaned against the wall. His breath was heavy, stuttering. He looked like he was trying to focus his breath, calm his fire, but it wasn’t working, and that was making him even more panicked. Maemi considered coming down from her hiding spot, but that would probably make him panic more and… 

And she could hear another set of footsteps coming down the hall. 

Zuko could hear them too, by the way he picked up his head and squinted in their direction. They were light, precise, obviously running but with no particular strain. 

Of course, knowing the poor Prince’s luck, it was his sister that rounded the corner and slid to a halt. 

“Zuko?” There was confusion in her voice, Maemi realized. It was the first time she had ever heard that tone from her. 

Somehow, it was a little worse than her chilled anger or her outright rage. It was human. 

“Azula?” He was still panting, slow, shaking. He sounded groggy, even. She didn’t want to think too hard about the blackened skin of his fingertips or the smell of ozone in the air around him, but she couldn’t ignore the way his eyes lit up with panic. 

“Why are you wearing that?” Azula’s voice had smoothed out. She had familiar anger in the set of her shoulders and distrust in her eyes. She was taking in the smell of lightning, too. She didn’t exactly know the answer, but she knew it wasn’t one she would like. 

Zuko seemed to understand that, too. Or, at least, he assumed that Azula would be able to see through any excuses he could make anyway. “I…” He cleared his throat and tried again, but his voice still sounded weak. “I’m leaving, Lala. I’m running away. It’s the only thing I can do well, isn’t it?”

“Running away from what?” It wasn’t exactly a question. 

“I did something stupid. The other thing I do well.”

_“Zuko, what did you do.”_

“Come with me.” 

“What?” Azula sounded about as surprised as Maemi felt.

“Leave with me, and I’ll explain everything.” He sounded genuine. Not particularly _sane_ or _stable_ , but genuine. Maemi didn’t know what to make of it. 

Azula looked like she smelled a rat. She walked forward, stared him down, ignored his outstretched hand. “Zuzu,” she purred, “where, exactly, were you planning to go?”

“I’ll explain that, too.” He sounded desperate. Maemi just wanted so badly to step in, to give him a distraction, an opportunity to escape. But she wasn’t sure he would take it. She wouldn’t be caught between an angry Princess and a confused and desperate Prince. 

She’d done stupid things in the past, but that would be _suicidal_. 

“Please, just… give it a chance.” He looked a little bit steadier, at least. Had he been buying time until he could run again? Or was he— 

Princess Azula summoned that blue fire that made her so unearthly and terrifying to Maemi. “I’m not a natural-born traitor like you, Zuko.”

He started to back away. “Azula, please…”

“And I’m not in the habit of letting traitors leave without punishment, family or otherwise.”

That was all the warning Zuko had before the fire in Azula’s hands was less of a vague threat and more of an outright attack. 

Zuko didn’t so much _dodge_ her attack as stumble out of her reach, but he rolled back to his feet quick enough. Maemi was terrified that he would try to stay and fight her, to try to talk to her. He paused for only a moment, met Azula’s eyes. Maemi could see the pain on his face. She supposed she could understand. If it were her and her brother… she’d feel the same way, no matter how psychotic she might think he was. 

But Zuko didn’t press his luck. 

He ran. 

Azula _tutted_ dramatically, and then chased after him. 

And just like that, Maemi was alone in the corridor. The silence they left behind was devastating. 

A full thirty seconds after they left, Maemi finally allowed herself to breathe again. Her head was too light, her mind was spinning out of control. 

She… she wanted to chase after them, to help the Prince, to defend him like she was _supposed to_ — 

But she couldn’t force herself to move. She wasn’t sure what a member of the royal guard was _supposed_ to do anymore. 

It definitely wasn’t this.

* * *

Izumi’s ears were ringing. She didn’t like that. It happened, sometimes, when her headaches were going to be exceptionally terrible. She really didn’t need one of those today, but she supposed it was more than deserved. 

Tenya had finally returned, having given up on finding Prince Zuko. Danjuro was filling him in on what had happened, and he was growing paler by the second. He kept trying to make eye contact with her, but she was too busy trying to collect her thoughts, to make a new plan. 

Everyone is talking at once, trying to ask her what the plan is but she doesn’t _have it_ yet and she’s starting to see bright spots which is _not good_ and—

“Would everyone _please_ shut the fuck up,” she snapped. She would get her decorum back eventually, she just… she needed to lie down for a bit. Then she could go back to being the Captain and they could go back to not questioning her and everything would be right with the world. But right now she just needed _half a second to think_. 

Everyone in the room dutifully went quiet. She sucked in a breath. Held it for a second. Let it out slowly. 

“Tenya,” she began, calm but steady as steel, “take everyone but Sho and Danjuro and escort the Fire Lord wherever he wishes to go. We’ve had to draw back on today, but that doesn’t mean this is over. Keep up the charade as long as you can.”

“Yes, Captain.” There was the soldier she’d trained. 

“Danjuro, you’re the fastest. Try to get to the prison before Prince Zuko does. Try to catch him and keep him from doing anything stupid. If you can stage an escape for him and Prince Iroh, all the better. But do it as quietly as you can.” 

“Yes, Captain.” He bowed, nodded to the others, and took off down the hall at a light sprint. 

“Sho, clean up these charges. Stash them somewhere secure. We’ll need them again. This isn’t over.”

“Yes, Captain.” 

Tenya bowed to her and led his guard through the door. Sho started to carefully extract the closest charge. Now that Izumi’s adrenaline was beginning to wear off, the thought of being in a small space with that volume of explosives was starting to put knots in her stomach. 

Which was ridiculous. Not half an hour ago she had been fully prepared to die in that exact way. 

That didn’t make the nausea go away. 

“Captain?”

Izumi looked up. In the doorway was Maemi, pale and shaky and out of breath. 

Izumi could strangle her. 

“Where were you?” She snapped. 

Maemi visibly swallowed. She leaned against the frame of the door to try to steady herself. “I… Prince Zuko. He met Princess Azula in the tunnels. He… She called him a traitor, started running after him. I… I don’t know where they went.”

Izumi _did not_ need this today. What she needed was to put Maemi where she wasn’t going to run off again. “You do remember what you are, don’t you?” she growled. “You’re a member of the Guard, and you answer to _my_ orders. The Guard does not get _opinions_ and the Guard does not get _initiative_ . You would do well to remember that and _keep your sorry ass out of trouble._ ”

“Oh, you’re right, that perfectly explains why we’re organizing a fucking assassination.”

 _“Save it.”_ Izumi set down her helmet and started to rub her temples. “If you had just done your _fucking_ job, we wouldn’t be in this mess. If you had kept your eyes on the Prince _like you were ordered to_ , none of this would have happened.” 

(If she had succeeded, Izumi wouldn’t be alive still to dress her down like this.)

“I need to trust every single member of the guard to be able to do the _bare minimum_ and follow orders.”

“But, Captain! I-”

“Enough.” Izumi held in another breath until the ringing in her ears lessened a little. “You are going to stay here and help Sho move the explosives. If we all live to see tomorrow, You’ll report to my office first thing in the morning, and we’ll discuss your future as a member of the royal guard.”

Maemi stared at the floor, her face full of shame and anger. “Yes, Captain.” 

Izumi hated to hurt the girl, but if she continued to act as she had, she would get herself killed anyway. 

She shoved her helmet back onto her head and left the room before her mounting headache could become worse.

* * *

Zuko couldn’t get a deep enough breath no matter how he tried. His chest was on fire with every movement. It felt like there was a rope wrapped around his ribs that was getting tighter every second, like he couldn’t quite control his muscles the way he needed to.

He couldn’t match Azula alone on a normal day but right now… he was lucky she hadn’t killed him right away. 

He was lucky for the first time in his life. 

He knew it wouldn’t last. 

He wanted so badly to stop for a rest, but he couldn’t. If Azula caught up to him…

Well. At least he wouldn’t be so tired anymore. 

He sprinted up the mountainside toward the prison. He had planned to check the war balloon one more time before he got here, make sure their escape route was clear, but he had fucked it all up and he wasn’t thinking straight and his sister was going to kill him and—

His only hope to hold her off was to get Uncle’s help. 

To hope that Uncle forgave him just enough to defend him. 

He charged through the front entrance. The door was open and a guard was on the ground and that wasn’t right at all but he couldn’t stop to think about it. 

He could still smell the electric smoke that filled his lungs, that threatened to choke him out. His limbs were still shaky and numb but he couldn’t stop to think about that either. He took the stairs two at a time. 

His father had tried to kill him. 

His father had tried to kill him and he hadn’t had the heart to strike him back in kind. He was a coward, he was a coward, he was a coward and how was he supposed to face the Avatar and his friends—people he had _tried to kill_ —if he could hardly face his own father?

He lost his footing at the top of the stairs and fell face first into the stone. He forced himself up again despite his stinging hands and skinned knees and racing heart. The world rocked under his feet, like he was back on the Wani. He felt like he was floating as he rounded the corner to Uncle’s Cell.

Uncle’s _empty_ cell. 

Zuko’s world went a little more wobbly. 

_Where is he?_ He must have asked the guard on the ground, though he doesn’t remember saying the words. 

_He broke himself out_ , the guard must have replied. Zuko doesn’t exactly hear him but he understands. _He was unstoppable._

He hadn’t needed Zuko’s help in the first place, he realizes, he never had. He had just been waiting for Zuko to come to his senses. Which Zuko had finally done, only a moment too late. 

He heard a voice like the numbness in his fingertips and the dread in the pit of his stomach from the floor below, and his chest tightened again. He dropped the guard on the ground. He needed to find a window, a door, a _roof_ , any way to get out of here because he could hear Azula calling up the stairs. He couldn’t hear her exact words but she sounded gleeful-furious in that way she always had when he was even a little bit close to beating her at some game. 

He heard an explosion in the direction of the palace as well, but that wasn’t really his problem anymore was it. 

He scrambled down one hall, and then another and another, with no windows big enough to squeeze through. There was one at the end of the hall, barred, but the bars were thin enough that maybe he could burn through them in time and make it out. 

It was a two story drop but maybe he could catch that window ledge on the way down and it’s not the worst fall he’s ever had, he can make it if he just—

His fingers were shaking and he kept burning himself but he was halfway through the window before he heard the footsteps behind him, before burning hands grabbed hold of the fabric of his shirt and pulled him back. 

Still-burning metal bars scraped against his back as he was dragged through. He could hardly see through the white-hot pain in his shoulders. Azula spun him around and slammed his back against the wall and he didn’t have the strength left to keep himself from whimpering with the pain. 

She was holding him up by the collar, saying something that was undoubtedly supposed to be intimidating, trying to make him doubt her motives or how far she would go. He just couldn’t hear her. 

He couldn’t focus. Everything was just a little too fuzzy and soft around the edges and maybe he could just rest his eyes for a second. The world was too bright and he was in too much pain and at least if he closed his eyes then that would be one part of him that didn’t hurt so much anymore. 

He heard Azula say something in disgust, felt her haul him up to his feet which refused to hold his weight, and then felt nothing at all.

* * *

“She’s not actually going to fire you,” Sho tried to reassure Maemi. He gingerly set a small barrel on top of the neat stack he was building and straightened up to put a hand on her shoulder. “She just wants you to think that so you don’t go do anything stupid.”

Maemi finished wrapping up the fuses into a neat coil and set it on top of the stack. She didn’t meet his eyes. “But she was so angry, Sho! And she’s threatened before, I think this might be the last straw.”

Sho squeezed her shoulder and ducked a little to get into her range of vision and force her to look at him. “Mae, you’re not a soldier anymore. The guard has to have a different kind of decorum, sure. She’s right about that. But you’re really clever, and she values how perceptive you are. I think she’s even started to rely on it a little bit. I think if you just apologise to her, she’ll cave.”

Maemi looked like she was trying not to sulk. Sho knew that sometimes she worked herself into a bad mood and needed to talk herself out of it, but all she had done while they worked was talk herself into a _worse_ mood. She had gone through anger and self-loathing and had landed somewhere around despair. He hated it when she felt that way because he didn’t always know how to help her, if letting her talk herself out didn’t work. 

She just sighed. “I suppose.” 

He tried to make his smile as reassuring as possible. “She plays the hardass, but she likes you. Just give her some time. Today’s been stressful.”

Maemi snorted a laugh. “You have a _gift_ for understatement.” 

He winked. “It’s one of my little charms.” 

Maemi punched him on the arm as she went to move the ladder to where the last charge was attached to the ceiling. 

Sho squeezed her shoulder again. “Hey, why don’t you let me get the last one. You still seem a little shaken up.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m capable of climbing a ladder, Sho.”

“Mae, if I didn’t think you were capable I would have sent you out into the hall to sulk.” He laughed. “Just let me do something for you as a friendly gesture, okay?” The way she insisted on doing everything herself was one of the things he liked about her, but it also made it really hard to subtly flirt with her. It wasn’t that he ever thought she wasn’t capable of something, he just really liked being able to do things for people. 

But he was still coming to terms with not yet having to die for the good of the Fire Nation. He was _alive_. Which meant he had plenty of time to figure out how to talk to her. He could figure it all out when there was a little less imminent danger. They had time. 

Maemi shook her head at him and chuckled. She had a good laugh, even marked with exhaustion and unresolved tension. “I’ll go get the other cart, then. Do you know where we’re going to move all this stuff?”

“I have a spot. I can show you once we get it all loaded up.” It was a room he had found in the lower tunnels, near an exit that led directly to the beach. It was a bit of a ways, but it was where he went to think and write letters sometimes. “It’s pretty secluded, so it should be safe.”

Maemi frowned a little. “Do you think we’ll try again?”

He paused. “I think so. We’ll have another chance, and soon. The Captain’s been planning this for too long for her to just give up. She’s just revising the plan.”

She sighed. “I hope you’re right.”

She shook her head and left to get the cart. Sho chuckled a little to himself as he began to climb the ladder. 

He’d figure out how to talk to her. He had time.

* * *

Maemi kicked a stray rock in the hall. Sho was right, she knew. The Captain probably wasn’t going to fire her. That didn’t make the sinking feeling in her gut go away. 

The rock skipped across the floor with a little _tick tick tick_ sound that seemed to echo in her head. Halfway down the hall she stopped to take a deep breath. She needed to center herself. She needed to think. She needed a nap. Today was almost over.

She forced herself not to think of it as a failure. They hadn’t failed, they were just set back. Prince Zuko had probably escaped, they could still take out his father and get him to come back somehow. 

She pulled in another breath. 

And then all at once the hair stood up on the back of her neck. Something was wrong. 

“No- _Fuck!”_ Sho was shouting from the room behind her. 

CRACK

_BOOM_

And suddenly she was flung against a wall, and the air was full of dust and smoke, and she couldn’t hear Sho anywhere, no matter how much she shouted for him.

* * *

Izumi stood at her post, too close to the still-breathing Fire Lord, and thought of herself as a failure. She hated herself more by the second, by the heartbeat. He was supposed to be dead by now and he wasn’t and it was her fault. 

She was trying to keep her heart from sinking any farther. She’d heard the explosion just like everyone else, and she knew what it meant. She’d sent Tenya to check anyway. She knew what he would find. She prayed that she was wrong. 

But Agni had stopped answering her prayers a long time ago. If she had been smart, she would have stopped making them. 

She needed to think. She needed just a few moments to herself to re-adjust and come up with a new plan and everything would be fine. She would have a purpose again. She just needed  _ time. _

Instead, what she had was a failed assassination attempt, a monster with a crown, and two royal heirs with very different methods for coping with childhood trauma. What she didn’t have was a  _ plan. _

They’d returned the Fire Lord to the throne room, and he had retreated behind his customary curtain of flames. She took it for cowardice, but that was another opinion she would never be bold enough to share. 

Before them, Azula stood with her hands clasped behind her back. Izumi would never get used to how the Princess had adopted the mannerisms of a military commander, and how anyone could see it as anything other than a child trying to impress her father. The responsibility of his affection was far too big for her shoulders, and one day she would collapse under it. 

Behind Azula was Zuko, on his knees, shackled but unbowed. Danjuro was behind him. Azula must have seen him headed for the prison and roped him into helping restrain the prince. 

Izumi tried to meet Zuko’s eyes as his father passed down his judgement. She tried to get him to understand, with her eyes alone, what she wished she could just tell him. 

_ I’m on your side. I’m going to help you. Just give me some time. _

But he was too full of anger and defiance and resignation to understand. The set of his shoulders only barely covered how much pain he was in. She wished she could at least have someone tend to his wounds. She wished she could have any say at all in the arrangements for his imprisonment. 

She wished she hadn’t been such a coward and had given the signal as soon as the eclipse had begun, or even before. They hadn’t needed it, really, it had just been convenient. If she was honest with herself, she could have killed Ozai at any time. She could do it right now, if she released her fear of the consequences. She wished she had the courage to do that, too. 

She wished for so many things she could never have. 

Ozai put Azula in charge of his arrangements. Izumi would have a hard time establishing her own guards to check on him, protect him in any way. She had to try regardless. 

And then Ozai dismissed them all—his children, their escort, his own guards. 

She ended that day in a terrible echo of the one that had changed her life three years before. She turned and walked away from the best heir the Fire Nation could hope for. She turned on her heel, and quietly began to scheme once again. She would have to start again from scratch, and only hoped that this time she would have the strength to finish what she started. 

The worst thing Captain Izumi had ever done in her life was to do nothing. It didn’t make her any more of a monster to do nothing once again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was /incredibly/ hard to write, for me. It felt so big in my head that I really wanted to do it justice. This is the last real chapter of the "story arc" that I had planned, everything else is just bonus content for when I can't be bothered to work on a screenplay.  
> I cut a lot out of this chapter as well. It was originally around 11k, but I thought a lot of what I had written would fit better scattered across other chapters, so I cut it down a lot. it really messed with the pacing. you didn't need to know that, necessarily, but I figure I better give you something to look forward to.  
> There will definitely be more, but kinda consider this a finished work with a really long epilogue from here. No, you do not get a happy ending. If you want one of those, you gotta wait for updates to TTS like the rest of us. :)  
> Thank you all for your very kind comments! I adore them and I adore all of you. I can't tell you how much of a lift it has given me in a really rough time in my life and my career to hear that people actually like my work sometimes. It's really given me the hope I needed to not give up on screenwriting and directing and just film as a whole.  
> I really should have done this sooner.


End file.
